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Empty-Nest Syndrome
When the 'rents can't let go
You aren't home to hear it, but the house is deafeningly
quiet to your
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www.touched.com |
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You're not there, and that makes them a little
misty. |
parents right now. And while your absence may
be liberating to them in one way, it's very difficult in another.
They don't have to worry about whether or not you get to school
on time, but then they don't always get to hear about your day,
either.
Common symptoms of empty-nest syndrome include
loneliness and depression. With the end of tuition payments, some
parents start to spend more money, too, according to the Web site
ParentingTeens.about.com.
The following is from real parents whose children
have moved out and moved on in the past few years.
"The absolute worst thing to me was losing
my job as a mother. No children to make dinner for, no children to
look to me for comfort or support, no children to whom it was important
to tell me about their day, no track meets to go to, no homework to
help with. It was hard to get used to, and I still miss it. No matter
how difficult, I was doing something important, challenging, and rewarding.
Now that job is over. The best thing
-- I guess to be able to pursue your own interests without interruption,
and to have the time to renew your relationship with your spouse.
At first, that feels a little selfish, and the idea takes some getting
used to. But eventually, I've grown into the feeling that I'd hate
to have that taken away from me." - Mary Jo Bartels, Portland, Ore.
"For me it was the stupid little things that I
seemed to miss the most. At the time [my daughter] didn't eat red
meat, so what to fix for dinner was something I often thought about
when I wondered if she was eating well at school. I missed her crazy
schedule, and counting how many times I went up and down South Main
Street on my way to Northwest on some days. I missed sharing stories
about our days, and walking the dog when she weren't too busy with
other stuff.
On the other side, it was neat to rediscover the
relationship that I had with her father. It had been a long time
since we had been a 'couple,' going to dinner or the movies -- sort
of like on a date." - Dena Lawton, Westfield, NJ |
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