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Empty-Nest Syndrome

When the 'rents can't let go

You aren't home to hear it, but the house is deafeningly quiet to your

  Mom and Dad are sad
 
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  You're not there, and that makes them a little misty.

parents right now. And while your absence may be liberating to them in one way, it's very difficult in another. They don't have to worry about whether or not you get to school on time, but then they don't always get to hear about your day, either.

Common symptoms of empty-nest syndrome include loneliness and depression. With the end of tuition payments, some parents start to spend more money, too, according to the Web site ParentingTeens.about.com.

The following is from real parents whose children have moved out and moved on in the past few years.

"The absolute worst thing to me was losing my job as a mother. No children to make dinner for, no children to look to me for comfort or support, no children to whom it was important to tell me about their day, no track meets to go to, no homework to help with. It was hard to get used to, and I still miss it. No matter how difficult, I was doing something important, challenging, and rewarding. Now that job is over.

The best thing -- I guess to be able to pursue your own interests without interruption, and to have the time to renew your relationship with your spouse. At first, that feels a little selfish, and the idea takes some getting used to. But eventually, I've grown into the feeling that I'd hate to have that taken away from me." - Mary Jo Bartels, Portland, Ore.

"For me it was the stupid little things that I seemed to miss the most. At the time [my daughter] didn't eat red meat, so what to fix for dinner was something I often thought about when I wondered if she was eating well at school. I missed her crazy schedule, and counting how many times I went up and down South Main Street on my way to Northwest on some days. I missed sharing stories about our days, and walking the dog when she weren't too busy with other stuff.

On the other side, it was neat to rediscover the relationship that I had with her father. It had been a long time since we had been a 'couple,' going to dinner or the movies -- sort of like on a date." - Dena Lawton, Westfield, NJ